someone get that fucking seahorse.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
