Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
