no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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