I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
