Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
