Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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