and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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