How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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