Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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