I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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