I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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