I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize