xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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