Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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