Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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