You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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