I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
