i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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