With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You were trust falling into bushes
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
