i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
