Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
