whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Drake has all the answers
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
