i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
