i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
