I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
