I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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