i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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