no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
