she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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