WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
