32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
