we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
