I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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