yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
