So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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