this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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