Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize