Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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