yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
