we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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