I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
