he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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