marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
