I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
