fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
