Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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