The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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