easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
