the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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