Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
