just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
