Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
