He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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