I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
