My hand turned me down
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
