i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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