wat bout pragnant strippers??
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
People in love make me want to vomit
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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