he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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