You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
