went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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